Take my fears and inhibitions

I'm down, lately. I wish things were a lot easier. If only I do not have to put on a smile when deep in my heart I am actually agonizing wrenching excruciating. I was occupied with hordes of projects while the composition of this particular ballad grappled upon me. Pregnant pause. I start this song all over again.

"Every door that slams in my face, I will offer up in prayer."

I know I am upset with God. And that He is with me too. I have been running away for far too long. But I am not sure if I want the situation to get better. Where were you Lord, when I needed you badly? I could not hear, feel or see you, God. I have been trying to find reasons to why am I that chosen victim. The one that have to face this world all alone, the one that is on her way to some nervous-complex-personality-disorder who rummages through her bag every now and then safe checking her possessions no thanks to that incident. O God, where art thou?

Just yesterday, Ms Cheng showered me with this small praise. It made me feel good for the rest of the day. We were doing script writing in class, and my group came up with this only protagonist for the plot. Ms Cheng liked the script, and asked who will be playing it. The protagonist was my classmate. She said, "Really? I think Xabryna ought to be playing it." The other group members agreed too. I smiled, and thanked Ms Cheng.